i want the deep stuff

i cried today...

not just moved to tears but as i listened to Adele's Someone Like You, i teared up at first and then as i imagined or remembered being held by someone who loves me, i just started sobbing... like all out sobbing..

it was a good cry and i havent done that in a long while... at first i was confused, i didnt know why i was crying and then i felt so sad and lonely, sincerely, then i couldnt recall how i would feel like this... it took almost the whole song to finally accept it was hormonal but i had a good cry nonetheless...

it did get me thinking, though... as much as i dont have any reason to cry lately, neither have i felt great joy... i've had success, achievement, satisfaction, these are as far as my emotions go these past few years... they seem like good, positive emotions but has anyone realised that they lack depth... i havent felt glee, joy bubbling up inside, the ooey gooey feeling of being in love, something to take my breath away, real pain that causes real tears... the deep stuff that goes beyond words...

i want to go deep and feel things vibrate inside my soul again... i think that's what i miss and long for... the deep stuff... thank God for hormones that get me crying but i want the deep stuff...