going to sleep watching this channel and waking up to it...
what shall i make for myself for lunch?
Wednesday 31 August 2011
i always say it...
3 to go in from out...
2 to go out from in...
and always 1 to close either way...
2 to go out from in...
and always 1 to close either way...
took leave
i just took leave from work and apparently from the net as well... in an effort to conceal my whereabouts, i just dropped out of the web for a while... hahahaha....
don't care... but i am annoyed with myself that i didn't do anything fruitful or productive... although i console myself that having taken this break from work stress and even escaping my messy room was just what i needed... i don't feel particularly refreshed but i do feel a little more rested... i guess i'll just take what i can get...
don't care... but i am annoyed with myself that i didn't do anything fruitful or productive... although i console myself that having taken this break from work stress and even escaping my messy room was just what i needed... i don't feel particularly refreshed but i do feel a little more rested... i guess i'll just take what i can get...
Tuesday 23 August 2011
keep checking myself...
my dream list
- dream car (nissan figaro)
- dream car (nissan figaro)
- house with a garden
- family
- dream job (havent figured that out yet, own business? counselling? therapy?)
it all looks nice in my dreams... but i keep checking myself and remembering consequences of reaching beyond... do i limit myself by doing reality checks on my dreams? or am i keeping my head straight and keeping reality in focus, hence making right decisions towards my dreams? where is the balance? sometimes i need counselling, too... someone who can tell me the truth, not words i want to hear just to patronise me, but also not someone who would shut down my dreams... i guess i dont need anyone to TELL me the truth, but at least someone who can help find the true path... haiz... i just realise who the best person is, i know i've been hiding from Him, it's time to go home...
Sunday 21 August 2011
get me to where i need/want to go...
potential courses:
HD&T Institute - http://www.hdandtinstitute.co.nz/
Vision College - http://www.visioncollege.ac.nz/schools/counselling/diploma-of-counselling
Seek Learning - http://www.seeklearning.co.nz/course/psychology-and-counselling.asp
Laidlaw College - http://www.laidlaw.ac.nz/en/campuses/auckland-campus (?)
Unitec Inst of Technology - http://www.unitec.ac.nz/unitec_home.cfm
QE Group NZ Inst of Professional Counselling - http://www.qegroup.co.nz/128/diploma-of-professional-counselling-level-6/
University of Auckland - http://www.education.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/home/about/schools-departments/chsswk
for future reference - http://www.askedu.net/training.asp?Course=Counselling&Location=New+Zealand
HD&T Institute - http://www.hdandtinstitute.co.nz/
Vision College - http://www.visioncollege.ac.nz/schools/counselling/diploma-of-counselling
Seek Learning - http://www.seeklearning.co.nz/course/psychology-and-counselling.asp
Laidlaw College - http://www.laidlaw.ac.nz/en/campuses/auckland-campus (?)
Unitec Inst of Technology - http://www.unitec.ac.nz/unitec_home.cfm
QE Group NZ Inst of Professional Counselling - http://www.qegroup.co.nz/128/diploma-of-professional-counselling-level-6/
University of Auckland - http://www.education.auckland.ac.nz/uoa/home/about/schools-departments/chsswk
for future reference - http://www.askedu.net/training.asp?Course=Counselling&Location=New+Zealand
Friday 19 August 2011
so tired...
i'm spending this post whining and griping... just because i can, because i want to.. this is my outlet, isn't it?
im just tired, so tired, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually... sick of having to keep a brave face, be the cheerleader and all the time, feel unappreciated and on top of all that, get blamed for everything... working hard and long and still feel like im not achieving anything, slogging away and still feel like im not up to scratch... i justify to myself that im just barely surviving and that's why im not meeting my mark... then im pissed off that im justifying myself, then thinking i don't care what people think but knowing that i really do...
ugh, just reading this back to myself, im so annoyed for sounding like such a whiny child... if someone were to spill all this on me, i'd tell her to step back, take a break and look to see that everything she's doing builds her character and surviving this would be to her advantage... i'd think of some wise old statement that sounds full of experience and logic and slowly soothe her with it... then come up with some encouraging, uplifting quote or anecdote to make her smile and relax... but it's almost impossible to do with myself... but i know me... i know il be ok... i know i can talk myself back to calm rationality... i know i can calm myself down and face another day... i know i can wake up tomorrow and smile at the hundreds of customers who il be serving and make jokes with the staff who'll be working with me. but for now, i just want to whine whine whine... i even wish i could cry, that would actually help but it's not even that bad... so i feel like im in limbo... or am i past tears... that sucks...
but speaking of talking to people... why do i enjoy imparting my "wisdom"? i guess it's cos i've seen the look in people's eyes when i get through... there is spark of hope through the sadness or a light that switches on when something i said made sense.... there's a sense of achievement that my instinct led me to the right story or right words... like i was a part of the healing process and when that person becomes better or made better choices... i feel validated... once in a while, someone thanks me or acknowledges that i said something that made them think or felt better... how that makes me feel goes without saying...
so, in conclusion... i just made myself feel better after offloading... and i realised that i should definitely consider pursuing counselling as an option for a career... throughout my life, i seem to be drawn to it and the feeling i get from it... at least i have a direction and a new goal now... now it's time for planning and research...
<sigh> now i can sleep...
im just tired, so tired, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually... sick of having to keep a brave face, be the cheerleader and all the time, feel unappreciated and on top of all that, get blamed for everything... working hard and long and still feel like im not achieving anything, slogging away and still feel like im not up to scratch... i justify to myself that im just barely surviving and that's why im not meeting my mark... then im pissed off that im justifying myself, then thinking i don't care what people think but knowing that i really do...
ugh, just reading this back to myself, im so annoyed for sounding like such a whiny child... if someone were to spill all this on me, i'd tell her to step back, take a break and look to see that everything she's doing builds her character and surviving this would be to her advantage... i'd think of some wise old statement that sounds full of experience and logic and slowly soothe her with it... then come up with some encouraging, uplifting quote or anecdote to make her smile and relax... but it's almost impossible to do with myself... but i know me... i know il be ok... i know i can talk myself back to calm rationality... i know i can calm myself down and face another day... i know i can wake up tomorrow and smile at the hundreds of customers who il be serving and make jokes with the staff who'll be working with me. but for now, i just want to whine whine whine... i even wish i could cry, that would actually help but it's not even that bad... so i feel like im in limbo... or am i past tears... that sucks...
but speaking of talking to people... why do i enjoy imparting my "wisdom"? i guess it's cos i've seen the look in people's eyes when i get through... there is spark of hope through the sadness or a light that switches on when something i said made sense.... there's a sense of achievement that my instinct led me to the right story or right words... like i was a part of the healing process and when that person becomes better or made better choices... i feel validated... once in a while, someone thanks me or acknowledges that i said something that made them think or felt better... how that makes me feel goes without saying...
so, in conclusion... i just made myself feel better after offloading... and i realised that i should definitely consider pursuing counselling as an option for a career... throughout my life, i seem to be drawn to it and the feeling i get from it... at least i have a direction and a new goal now... now it's time for planning and research...
<sigh> now i can sleep...
Tuesday 16 August 2011
quotes...
I love quotes... real people inspire me and im touched because it hits a chord inside... and some of them are just plain funny... i stored my collection of quotes in various places, random notebooks (which i've since lost), and more recently my phone... so now im pretty much gonna dump them in here...
the bold ones at the top are those which are particularly hitting home right now, this moment...
"Be not afraid of moving forward, be more afraid of standing still." -Anonymous
"Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step." - Anonymous
"Success isn't how far you've gotten, but the distance you've travelled from where you started." -Chinese Proverb
"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." - Confucius
"It's not our abilities that show what we truly are, it is our choices." -Prof Dumbledore, Chamber of Secrets
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." -Prof Dumbledore, Philosopher's Stone
"My worst fear was realised, I had hit rock bottom and then rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." -JK Rowling
"There's no good way to tell a stranger they smell nice or a friend they smell terrible." - funny or die FB status
"To espouse normality after seeing horrors has always seemed to be such a courageous thing to do and climbing back to normality after trauma is much much harder... it's much harder to rebuild than to destroy." - JK Rowling
"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." Anonymous
"There is no peace without forgiveness." -Fr Sujono's sermon, 24 may 2011
"...because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man." Coach McGinty, The Replacements
"being a part of something special, makes you special." -Rachel, Glee season 1, ep 1
"The greatest expression of rebellion is joy." -Joss Whedon
"Give us joy to balance our affliction." -Psalm 89
"I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh... but I never knew I would look back at my laughter and cry." -Anonymous
"It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission." -Anonymous
"Why you don't have what you want is because you don't pray for it. When you do pray and don't get it, it is because you have not prayed properly, you have prayed for something to indulge your own desires." James 4:3
'Life keeps throwing us chances to learn new things but sometimes, life throws it to our faces and it's hard to see the lesson when it hits you right between the eyes.. It isn't until we look in the mirror that we finally understand and learn and grow... Until the next lesson." -me, 03 sep 2010
"Such insufferable sorrow. I have no place for it." - Andromeda
"The person who never makes a mistake probably isn't doing anything." -Rita Emmett
"The time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time." -Joe Foo
"There is no formula for success, except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings." -Arthur Rubinstein
"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that, in the end, we become disguised to ourselves as well." -Francois dela Roche Pereaux
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only robs today of its strength." -AJ Cronin
"Nothing will work until you do." -Maya Angelou
"..her sins, her many sins, must have been forgiven her, or she would not have shown such great love." -Luke 7:36-8:3
"...never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings." Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pary, Love)
“There’s a certain kind of pain that can numb you. There’s a type of freedom that can tie you down. Sometimes the unexplained can define you. And sometimes the silence is the only sound. In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.” -Charlie Brown
"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." -John F. Kennedy
"A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm" -Charles M. Schwab
"As long as you are willing to let life push you around, it will.” -Napoleon Hill
"If you take care of the little things, the big things will take care of themselves" -Unknown
"The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become." -Mark Twain
"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop“ -Confucius
"Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough." -Unknown
“In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish.” -Donald Trump
"New opinions are always suspected, & usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common." -John Locke
“There is always room in your life for thinking bigger, pushing limits & imagining the impossible." -Tony Robbins
"The best way to get a better answer is to start asking a better questions." -Tony Robbins
"Think beyond your lifetime if you want to accomplish something truly worthwhile." -Walt Disney
"It doesn't matter what a person brings, only what they leave with." -Anonymous
"Obsession is a dangerous thing to be obsessed about." -Me
"When your legs are tired, walk with your heart. But please, don't stop." -Paulo Coelho
"The greatest jeopardy in life is to risk nothing." -Anonymous
the bold ones at the top are those which are particularly hitting home right now, this moment...
"Be not afraid of moving forward, be more afraid of standing still." -Anonymous
"Delay is the deadliest form of denial." -C. Northcote Parkinson (British Historian)
"Success isn't how far you've gotten, but the distance you've travelled from where you started." -Chinese Proverb
"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." - Confucius
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." -Prof Dumbledore, Philosopher's Stone
"My worst fear was realised, I had hit rock bottom and then rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." -JK Rowling
"There's no good way to tell a stranger they smell nice or a friend they smell terrible." - funny or die FB status
"To espouse normality after seeing horrors has always seemed to be such a courageous thing to do and climbing back to normality after trauma is much much harder... it's much harder to rebuild than to destroy." - JK Rowling
"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." Anonymous
"There is no peace without forgiveness." -Fr Sujono's sermon, 24 may 2011
"...because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man." Coach McGinty, The Replacements
"being a part of something special, makes you special." -Rachel, Glee season 1, ep 1
"The greatest expression of rebellion is joy." -Joss Whedon
"Give us joy to balance our affliction." -Psalm 89
"I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh... but I never knew I would look back at my laughter and cry." -Anonymous
"It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission." -Anonymous
"Why you don't have what you want is because you don't pray for it. When you do pray and don't get it, it is because you have not prayed properly, you have prayed for something to indulge your own desires." James 4:3
'Life keeps throwing us chances to learn new things but sometimes, life throws it to our faces and it's hard to see the lesson when it hits you right between the eyes.. It isn't until we look in the mirror that we finally understand and learn and grow... Until the next lesson." -me, 03 sep 2010
"Such insufferable sorrow. I have no place for it." - Andromeda
"The person who never makes a mistake probably isn't doing anything." -Rita Emmett
"The time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time." -Joe Foo
"There is no formula for success, except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings." -Arthur Rubinstein
"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that, in the end, we become disguised to ourselves as well." -Francois dela Roche Pereaux
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only robs today of its strength." -AJ Cronin
"Nothing will work until you do." -Maya Angelou
"..her sins, her many sins, must have been forgiven her, or she would not have shown such great love." -Luke 7:36-8:3
"...never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings." Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pary, Love)
“There’s a certain kind of pain that can numb you. There’s a type of freedom that can tie you down. Sometimes the unexplained can define you. And sometimes the silence is the only sound. In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.” -Charlie Brown
"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." -John F. Kennedy
"A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm" -Charles M. Schwab
"As long as you are willing to let life push you around, it will.” -Napoleon Hill
"If you take care of the little things, the big things will take care of themselves" -Unknown
"The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become." -Mark Twain
"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop“ -Confucius
"Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough." -Unknown
“In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish.” -Donald Trump
"New opinions are always suspected, & usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common." -John Locke
“There is always room in your life for thinking bigger, pushing limits & imagining the impossible." -Tony Robbins
"The best way to get a better answer is to start asking a better questions." -Tony Robbins
"Think beyond your lifetime if you want to accomplish something truly worthwhile." -Walt Disney
"It doesn't matter what a person brings, only what they leave with." -Anonymous
"Obsession is a dangerous thing to be obsessed about." -Me
"When your legs are tired, walk with your heart. But please, don't stop." -Paulo Coelho
"The greatest jeopardy in life is to risk nothing." -Anonymous
dreaming
no correction... thinking not dreaming... (although, typing this with a rerun of glee's season 1 in the background makes everything all the more hopeful and dreamy)...
yeah, thinking... thinking is better than dreaming cos thinking involves planning and research and not just dreaming and imagining... New Zealand, dream or plan? no, i must plan...
things to do:
-NUMBER ONE, get the testimonials... im super freaking out cos i dont have the best track record with past employers...
-2, find a job, find lots of jobs to apply for...
-3, find a place to stay, where do i make my base
-4, find cheap flights to NZ
-5, how to get around
-6, how to be contacted (mobile, internet connection, etc)
-7, what do i bring
i must keep telling myself - no turning back, no turning back, no turning back....
random quote:
"being a part of something special, makes you special." -Rachel, season 1 ep 1...
Sunday 14 August 2011
tempted
im so tempted to get an iphone or ipad, just to play some games with my friends... bad bad bad...
no, im broke enough as it is... shudnt spend on another thing...
no, im broke enough as it is... shudnt spend on another thing...
I love The Doctor!
So I am a Whovian... (a whovian, by the way, are fans of the UK TV series, Doctor Who) sometimes I feel I'm the only one here in Singapore... Anyways, I stumbled upon The Doctor one day on BBC Entertainment and I was hooked... And then when Christopher Eccleston became David Tennant....
<sigh!> Ah, DT... I fell in love, well, infatuated would be a better word... But he is awesome!!! Then I found out he's scottish... My dream man... All the things I loved all rolled into one man... He's cute, sexy, kind of geeky, appears to be quite funny, he can sing and, most of all, scottish! Yums!!! His scottish accent makes me quiver... Anyways, it goes without saying that I was all the more hooked on The Doctor... Naturally, i imdb'd the dude and tried to see what else he had done (btw, cant wait for Fright Night 2011!)... Much to my surprise, he was Barty Crouch, Jr in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire... I had to watch the movie again cos all those youtube snippets just were not enough for me... And I made a funny, little observation...
Just when The Doctor makes an appearance in Harry Potter, the Weasleys pitched a tent which was coincidentally bigger on the inside... I laughed with excitement at my funny little discovery and then suddenly realised there was no one I could share this with, that would get it... I just laughed out loud to myself in my room... Kind of sad and pathetic, but anyway, it is what it is...
So I ahem caught up on all the Doctor Who series until the Tenth Doctor regenerated into Matt Smith... Then I couldnt bear to watch.. My first reaction to Matt Smith was.. Noooooo, i cannot bear to watch Doctor Who without David Tennant... So I watched all the Torchwood, Sarah Jane Adventures series and, finally, when Matt Smith was to appear on SJA, I braced myself and watched... I found that he was just loony and weird enough to check out... So I went back to The Doctor and caught myself up on the start of his series... And now, not that i love DT any less but, im loving Matt Smith as The Doctor as well... and with Amelia Pond, the Ponds, i love saying it the way he does... I also love the new storylines and the music, especially his own theme song... I cant wait till aug 27 when the 2nd part of the series starts up again... At the end of the day, Matt Smith is a pretty cool guy, seeing his interviews, etc... I guess everything has its time and i love the new doctor a lot but when they started re-runs with the 9th and 10th Doctor on BBC again, i enjoyed every repeat episode...
Also through my surfing on The Doctor, i found Charlie McDonnell who does youtube vids for a living... he is a very cute and quirky kid in the UK who, with his friends, created a genre called Trock music, which is Time Lord Rock... love the music especially their version of the 11th doctor's theme...
I guess you never know what new things you can discover that links to things you already knew... I love finding things out and connecting them...
Saturday 13 August 2011
no pressure
i think before when i attempted diary/journal situation.. i felt a pressure to keep it up like as if people were actually following me and expected stuff from me... so there was a pressure to say witty things and talk about interesting things which may have happened in my life... but now, i couldn't give a crap... i'm literally going to offload here...
Thursday 11 August 2011
i needed an outlet...
...i know it's seems a little narcissistic but i think that pretty much everyone's doing this, so i don't care... it just occurred to me lately that i have a crapload of stuff crowding in my brain, i might as well offload it on de interweb...
so to anyone who reads this, i need to prepare you for some things...
First, there'll be a lot of "...", for some reason, i always end with dot, dot, dot... no reason whatsoever... (haha)
2nd, i'm very lax with my shift button so there won't be much caps in here...
next, i have extremely random thoughts which jump from my life stuff, to movie and tv reviews (i love doing reviews, hence the blog title)...
also, im sort of a tv geek.. i love so many tv shows, my dream job is to review shows and movies...
and lastly, i'll probably fill in some of my rants... just random rants which may or may not be based on real life... i will, however, be as discreet as possible with names and such, so if you read something and think it may be you... it might be but i'll try to keep it ambiguous as personal challenge to myself...
for a start, i'll leave at this...
so to anyone who reads this, i need to prepare you for some things...
First, there'll be a lot of "...", for some reason, i always end with dot, dot, dot... no reason whatsoever... (haha)
2nd, i'm very lax with my shift button so there won't be much caps in here...
next, i have extremely random thoughts which jump from my life stuff, to movie and tv reviews (i love doing reviews, hence the blog title)...
also, im sort of a tv geek.. i love so many tv shows, my dream job is to review shows and movies...
and lastly, i'll probably fill in some of my rants... just random rants which may or may not be based on real life... i will, however, be as discreet as possible with names and such, so if you read something and think it may be you... it might be but i'll try to keep it ambiguous as personal challenge to myself...
for a start, i'll leave at this...
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